Buried, Yet Alive
by Villianous
Summary: Buried in the ground, Hidan had all the time to think that he'd never wanted. Shounen-ai/yaoi: HidanDeidara main pairing.


**Buried, Yet Alive**

**Oh man, I suck at writing summaries. This is another attempt of mine at writing angst, so it's pretty gloomy.. Still, I hope you'll read and review, even if you don't like it.**

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Hidan cursed Jashin-sama once more. He had always known that he wouldn't be able to die, even if he wished it. Even if his body was torn to pieces, and scattered to the four winds.

Even if he was vaporized, he would still be forced to wander the earth as a disembodied spirit. It was both the blessing and the curse of the demon god he served.

He had always known, but it hadn't mattered. That is, until he found the one person who could stand being around him, who would bandage his wounds time after time, who even brought cheer to his usually gloomy, gore-filled rituals.

Hidan had always lived by throwing himself at life, scythe raised and howling obscenities. He'd always laughed when someone threatened to kill him, because they always failed. He'd never thought - no, never _needed _to think about his immortality. He'd simply taken it for granted.

But suddenly he found himself worrying now and then about his immortality. No, not that he worried he'd die, not after staring death in the face so many times, but rather about the fact that that special person, the beautiful blonde terrorist called Deidara, wasn't similarily immortal.

Hidan could not return to being a mere mortal, and the terrorist would not become a follower of Jashin. He'd tried to convert him, Jashin knows he'd tried, but Deidara never believed in that kind of thing. A tactile person, he believed in what he could touch with his hands, and shape into his art.

Deidara was polite, for him, but Hidan could feel a subtle distancing occur when the conversation turned to his religion. He hated that. He wanted to be close to him, to allow the warmth of his love's vitality to infuse him, also. He'd never let on, but the terrorist was his only source of light in a cold, dim world. And Hidan had strove to protect the small bubble of happiness they'd made for themselves.

When they were on missions together, their skills complemented each others' well. Hidan was a close- to mid-range fighter, while Deidara was mid- to long-range, though both could manage the other end of the spectrum competently. They were each others' backup, and worked well together. But, that was only as long as when they were on missions together. And Hidan had done his best to ensure that when he himself couldn't accompany Deidara, an equally competent or stronger ninja did.

Deidara objected to that, saying he could take care of himself perfectly well. And he could. Hidan had seen firsthand how swiftly the bomber accomplished his missions and dispatched enemies. But what if the unexpected happened, he worried, as it had so many times before? The terrorist didn't like to plan for "what if's;" it wasn't in his nature. It wasn't in Hidan's either, but he worried about Deidara. He worried about his flamboyant, reckless, wonderfully sociopathic love. If any part of him was removed, the bomber just wouldn't be himself.

Yes, Deidara's demise was inevitable, but as his lover, Hidan had had limited success in dissuading him from it. Temporarily. Hidan felt like punching the cold ground that encased him. He'd figured that since he was immortal, he would be able to put off the bomber's final work of art for _years _yet. But without him there.. Deidara would soon be gone. _And there was nothing he could do about it_. He snarled helplessly, the burn of tears threatening him.

Because he was immortal, he'd eventually dig himself out, given enough time. But by then Deidara would be dead. His cute little bomber would have detonated himself, dying at the very peak of his youth and artistry. Never for him was aging and the gradual fade into obscurity that other artists faced.

Hidan had always admired that about him, his determination to go out in a blaze of glory, even as he dreaded the day Deidara would decide to become his art.

None of the others cared enough to try and save Deidara from his suicidal tendencies. They merely tolerated him, as a fellow member of Akatsuki. Hidan supposed that the same could be said of him, much as his ego protested the very idea. They had tolerated Deidara and himself when they were around, and wouldn't care when they were gone.

_Why had he even _taken _the damn mission, _he lamented, cursing his foolishness that had kept him from Deidara's side.

He and his love had fought over some petty little thing, and to spite each other, both had taken missions on opposite sides of the continent. They'd parted in anger, spitefully competing on whose assignment was more dangerous and who would finish theirs first.

Naturally, Hidan took his frustration out on Kakuzu, annoying his partner even more than usual. He assumed the same thing had happened with Deidara and Tobi; the terrorist's temperament was quite similar to his own.

But Hidan's constant ribbing of his partner had whittled away at their patience, dangerously eroding their teamwork and allowing emotions to cloud their judgement. Of course, he hadn't realized this at the time, content to insult the masked nin. And Hidan's arrogance had sealed their respective fates. Neither had had the patience to work with each other long enough to devise a battle plan specific to their opponents, and they, the Zombie duo, finally met their end. And at the hands of the naive little Konoha brats, at that! From the village of coddlers, good only for raising jinchuuriki and missing-nin!

They'd lost, and it was all his fault.

For messing up his own mission.

For being stubborn.

For acting like an idiot.

For not admitting he could ever be wrong.

And for letting Deidara take a mission that was far too demanding for him and the person he'd been paired with. Maybe, Hidan thought, he was being punished for this, or that, or all of it.

And Deidara didn't know Hidan's location nor predicament. He was off hunting Uchiha, a delicate task at any time, but especially now, with the brothers constantly on the move and out for blood.

Leader would probably tell Akatsuki straight out that he was "dead." And for all intents and purposes, he'd be right.

At the least, Leader could be counted on to keep Hidan's location from Deidara. Because if left to his own devices, the terrorist would certainly tear up the country looking for him, or die trying.

And this place in the Land of Fire.. Even though Hidan knew that Jashin-sama was stronger than whatever spirits had cursed the land, that Konoha Chuunin had looked dead serious when he said that once an outsider set foot in the place, they could watch them forever.

He didn't believe the kid, but even he could tell there was something unpleasant about this place, something oppressive. He didn't want his love to be forever trapped in a place like this, even if they would be together.

Yes, better Deidara lived in relative freedom - he was still a member of Akatsuki, after all - until his fiery suicide. Hidan suddenly realized that tears were dripping down his face. He wished from the bottom of his heart that he could die, that he could be with his love again.

He noticed his field of vision was narrowing. The air was running out, it seemed. He wouldn't die from this either, but soon he would be in a state of perpetual suffocation. Always needing air, occasionally blacking out, but never dying. He felt himself getting woozy. He thought of Deidara, and hoped that his feelings would reach his love.

_I'm sorry, Deidara_, he thought the apology that he'd never get a chance to say. He wished he could take it all back, and be with his love again.

_Deidara..._

Deidara strode purposefully through a forest populated by huge trees, Tobi following. One of the bomber's smaller clay birds flew beside them, gracefully dodging obstacles.

Tobi collapsed, having reached his limit. Deidara bent to check him. No, it was worse. He'd sustained injuries in their skirmish with a border patrol a while back, and it'd finally gotten to him. It was because of their encounter that they were on the ground instead of in the air.

Deidara picked him up and placed him on the bird. At this point, he knew that they probably wouldn't be able to return alive. He'd suspected that at the beginning of their mission. They may be able to reach Hidan, but it was quite unlikely they would return with him.

At the edge of something - he wasn't sure what, but he could tell that if he continued on, he'd probably never return. It had the sense of _trap _about it. He had his bird set down with the injured Akatsuki member aboard. Whatever it was, Tobi didn't need to be trapped in it too, never mind how irritating he was. He made sure he had enough supplies, then sent them back toward the base. Tobi knew enough about it that he could steer the bird himself when he woke.

Deidara took a deep breath and stepped into the area, surprised when nothing happened to him. He walked through the ancient forest to where Leader had said was Hidan's last known location; the place where his signal had suddenly cut out. As he went deeper and deeper into the territory, he became aware that he was being watched, but he couldn't sense anyone near enough. He put it aside. Finding Hidan was his first priority.

Deidara finally reached the Jashinist's location. The freshly-turned patch of dirt could've been anything, but he knew.

Hidan was under there.

"I'm coming, un." He murmured, forming small clay creatures. He tossed them onto the mound and set them off, blasting dirt out of the hole by buckets. He continued until he thought he was getting close to the bottom of the hole, then dug at the dirt like a madman, flinging handfuls of the stuff out.

He was making progress, but it became harder and harder to continue. His own injuries had begun to bleed again at his exertions, staining the earth a reddish brown. He could feel his strength seeping away.

He was tired..

So tired...

Deidara slumped over as darkness overcame him, falling insensate on the moist ground.

Hidan blinked. He was lying on the side of a soft, grass-covered hill, watching the clouds.

"That looks like one of my clay spiders, un!" Hidan jumped slightly at the sudden voice, but kept his mouth shut; the setting was too peaceful to interrupt with a tirade. (XD Hidan has some tact) He knew who the voice belonged to, but was afraid to look for fear that he'd only imagined it. He slowly turned his head.

Next to him, watching the sky with him, was his love. Deidara turned toward the Jashinist and smiled charmingly at him.

"What, did you forget I was here, un?" He chided gently. Hidan just stared, drinking in the blonde's perfect features. It felt like he hadn't seen him in ages! And yet, there was a slight feeling of uneasiness nagging at him.. Like there was something he'd forgotten...

"You act like you haven't seen me in years, un!" Deidara's sweetly chiming voice cut into his thoughts. He laughed softly.

"You're so beautiful..." Hidan reached out and gently stroked his love's face, brushing his silky hair out of the way and leaning over to kiss him, lips parted slightly.

"Hidan..." Deidara lifted his head up to meet the silveret's, a faint blush dusting his cheeks. Their lips met in a loving kiss and after a long moment, Hidan gently broke the kiss and touched their foreheads together, staring into the radiant aqua eyes of Deidara.

They heard footsteps approaching and the blonde tried to move away, but Hidan sat up and pulled Deidara to him instead. He knew that he hadn't shown his love enough before - before what..? - and didn't want to repeat his mistake. Despite his earlier attempt to escape, Deidara didn't seem to mind that much, wiggling around a little before nestling cozily into the silveret.

Kakuzu walked up, stopping at a respectful distance. "Come on, you'll miss it." He said, evidently choosing to ignore their intimate position. Deidara twisted around in Hidan's lap to smile at him.

"Un, let's go see." He gently tugged on Hidan's hand and they followed Kakuzu at a leisurely pace, hand in hand. Neither spoke, just enjoying the other's company.

They soon came upon picnic blankets spread out in the shade, dotted here and there with places where the warm sun shone through the branches. There was the rest of the Akatsuki, spread out on the blankets. Tobi lay on his stomach, kicking his feet in the air leisurely, Kisame sat back against a tree, watching Itachi serenely hold his hand out as a bird ate from it, and Sasori and Pain were folded gracefully into sitting positions, bantering good-naturedly. It was the very picture of peacefulness.

"It's so pretty here, un." Deidara said softly, leading them to an empty spot. They sat down next to each other, the blonde leaning his head against Hidan's shoulder.

"Yeah..." Hidan agreed, slipping his arm around the bomber's slender waist. He wondered idly where 'here' was. And he - no, _everyone _was missing their usual cloak, but didn't think much of it. It wasn't as important as this moment with his friends and his love.

"What are you thinking about, un?" Deidara smiled up at him, starting to fall asleep. Konan had already nodded off, curled up between Pain and Kakuzu, and the others leant against their friends and lovers, reading a book or just relaxing.

"You." Hidan answered easily, nuzzling the blonde's neck.

"You're so sweet, un." Their lips met in a loving kiss.

Hidan idly wondered how they could relax like this without any fear that anyone would come upon them. He considered saying it aloud, but if he did...

"Dei-chan?" Hidan murmured.

"Un?" The blonde responded just as softly.

"What is this place?" Deidara grew sad.

"Hidan, haven't you realized yet? We," His gesture included the entire Akatsuki, "are all dead."

"You too?!" The words burst out of him in horror, Hidan just barely managing to lower his voice.

"Un, trying to rescue you." Deidara gave him a sweet smile, but his eyes were sad. Hidan hugged him tightly, trying to comfort him.

Hidan stared out into space, trying to absorb the news. He'd ever been prepared for his love's death, for all his friends' deaths, but it was still terrible to learn that they were gone. The tough shark man, the stubborn old miser, even the seemingly-indestructible leader of Akatsuki. All of them...

"It's not a bad death, not like mine, being buried and left to rot." He murmured into his love's honey-gold hair.

"Oh, but Hidan, you aren't dead." Deidara twisted around to give him an odd look.

"No?" He gave his love a puzzled look.

"You're immortal, remember?"

"But.. then why am I here?"

"You - and Tobi over there, are just visiting, drawn here by your heart's wish."

"In other words, you're delusional." Kakuzu said softly, to avoid distubing anyone else.

"Shut up, Kakuzu." Deidara and Hidan said together. They looked at each other in surprise and laughed. Yes, even if it was a dream or hallucination, he wouldn't trade this for the world, Hidan thought, hugging his love a bit tighter.

And on they dreamt, through the long years.

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**Ah, such a wonderful picture, isn't it? Too kawaii, un~ **

**I thought Hidan and Deidara deserved a happy ending.. I had originally planned that the happy moment in time would go on until Hidan realized (out loud, the idiot) that there's no way they would really act like this, at which point it would all end with a bunch of Konoha nin jumping onto the scene and killing everyone. Konoha does that, you see. Except for Hidan, who of course is immortal, plunging him into yet more angst. **

**But I decided that perhaps a happy ending would be better. Perhaps I'll write that version another time..**

**And I'm sorry if it seems kinda choppy. This idea's been around a while, added to at random intervals.**

**The ending isn't very good, but meh. *shrugs* I wanted to get this finished and posted up; I'm trying to get some things written out during the break. **

**So, you know the drill; please read and review. With reader input, I work faster!**


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